
I have been sooooo sick over the past month or so....ever since Christmas---I don't know if it started with the veal, rare cheese and too much wine, followed up by a vodka tized Christmas eve (or which came first)??? I've simply got to stop drinking so much. New years eve I should've just chilled out and stayed at Anna's til she fell asleep and then just went to the Higgins House and drank slowly and played Monopoly with them til the sun came up. But, Nooooooo!!!!!
I decided to go spend the mass of my Christmas money on Bailey's cream, Buschmill's Irish Whiskey and some Guiness lager. FUCK. It started off at Anna's house- I made two giant car bombs about 7:00pm and I was already feeling sluggish and sick. It boosted me up, though I was still feeling weak. Anna and me and the kids went to Winn Dixie and I picked up a great - 30 dollar bottle of Pinot Noir. Wow. This stuff is good. We went Back to Anna's house and...I got a phone call- I had been rousing around for a party or two to go to.
I ended up meeting Justin Wilson and his crew at Jameson Inn- where Rachel Harper and her boyfriend was (sleeping.) I opened the bottle of Pinot Noir there and sat in my car with Rachel just cracking up like we always do. Finally Justin & his crew showed up and we were hangin' out in the parking lot, looking suspicious when What to my wondering eyes should appear- but Sherry Rushing coming out of one of the 2nd floor hotel rooms- I brayed out: "Sherrrrrriiiieee!!!!!" She couldn't see well in the street light and she's half blind any way, so she was like: "Hey! Who is that!?!?!" and I was like: "Ben Farley and Crew!" and she was like: "oh! Hey! Let me go back into my hotel room to get my boyfriend to protect me!" and she did.
We followed the trail to Murphy's where admission was ten dollars and we didn't want to see the band anyway, so we made the trek to Old York (the Bull Pen Steak House)- where we were to meet Sarah Graham to follow her to her trailer out in the middle of the woods in Parish. When we got there it was just Justin Wilson and crew, a few more guys and me...Sarah was the only girl there. I forgot to mention the Steel statues of men riding horses at Old York....those horse statues have giant brass balls and weiner sacks on them. LOL Anyway, when we got to Casa De Graham...we de-ornamentized her REAL Christmas tree and took it out back to burn----me and Sean Crain were hurrying to get all the ornaments off in enough time to burn it at midnight. We lit it just as the clock struck twelve- it poofed and sizzled out. Justin and his crew left with their case of Bud.
We went inside the trailer- out here in the dark----in this little village of trailers we had surrounding us...I proceeded to make EVERYBODY Irish Car Bombs- they drank them like real men and woman. I finished the bottle of wine...gave a glass of it to Sarah and I was truly fucked up. Next thing I remember the whiskey's gettin' low- we're playing captain dick head or truth or dare of whatever you wanna call it. I remember looking up and the lights were out - the candles were lit and all the dudes had their shirts off. Chewy, Sean, Adam, me...that other dude...Sarah came in and was like "What the fuck is going on?!?!" and I was like: "We are trying to get your attention Sarah!" She was the only girl there and she was talkin' to some pouty dude in the other room- that was playing video games.
I ended up gettin so sick after we went to the store to get more cheap ass beer and when I got back we played Captain Dickhead some more and I just invited everybody out onto the back porch to watch me puke all over it. After that I left and got lost in the deep woods of Parish. It took me a while to get back on route and Sarah called my cell to see if I was okay...and then Joseph Higgins called to see if I was okay...I'm glad I have such good friends to look out for me...I should've been at the Higgins house just straight chillin'. You live and learn.